When I sat down today to write an obituary for Ma/mother who passed away on 6th September 2020 around 5:00 pm Indian Standard time, for the first time, my hands froze. I was never a great writer or a poet, but putting words together was something which never eluded me… until today.
I know losing a loved one can be a difficult time for anyone especially when the loved one is your mother. A mother holds a special place in our hearts and their unflinching love and affection, silent compassion with many unspoken moments string together a necklace of our life’s journey. More so when within 5 years of each other, both your parents’ march towards a there final heavenly destination.
But when I sat down to write today, the realization dawned upon me that I am suddenly alone, suddenly an orphan in the middle of the ocean with a whirlpool on one side and great waves on the other . I suddenly realized I can’t just run away from the world and put my head deep down on someone’s lap, I can’t go and say I am hungry and you need to cook this for me, I can’t be ever again be scared of the darkness with the belief that there is someone to protect me. All I am left with today are memories
For me, she was my mother, my first teacher, my first disciplinarian, someone who loved me immensely but for others probably a lot more.
When I start looking back on some of the chapters through the memory lane, what I hear is,
- she immensely loved everyone she came across, caste, creed, color, wealth no bar
- she was an excellent teacher … sure I am one of her students, but there are countless more who can vouch for that
- she was a great human being .. helping the poor, the needy without ever letting anyone know
- She taught and lived … “do good, good will happen to you” . .. I know even sometimes I used to get frustrated with that.
Rarely people without authoritative positions make a big difference in anyone’s life. Ma in her own way probably did make a difference to many people’s life.
It is truly a loss to me and my immediate family but l am sure it is a big loss to many more…..
That being said it is our belief that death is a new beginning with a merger of the soul with the Brahmana. As some people over the last 2 days has been trying to convince me, her soul is going to become one with my father (baba) and hence.
While I am trying to find my inner strength to overcome the sense of inconceivable sorrow and grief and I am deluged with memories of gratitude to the departed soul, I am hoping fond memories will provide the support to cope with this phase of mourning.
Hence to those fond memories ….
Chanda mashi not only loved everyone but was immensely loved by everyone too.
It breaks my heart to know she is no more…
Thank you very much for your kind words.
Rahul , can’t express what I am feeling at this time , finding no words to reveal my pain …… Chhanda was , is n will always remain within me . Now the wound is very raw ; but I will also be used to live life with so many memories of her n secretly go back down the memory lane from time to time . Rahul , there is nothing to console you as this is an irreparable loss . Praying to God to give you the strength to bear this
pain ! Love you beta .
..
Thank you so much for your kind words .Ma used to look forward to the meetings with you all . I was looking at the last get together you all had and tears rolling down my eyes .
Dear Rahal,
We are sad to hear the untimely demise of dear Chanda. Our memory goes back to years from 1976 to 1982. A close nit of our best times meeting on daily basis. Eating togather, getting married one by one. Getting our families grow. Our toddlers and what not in our best times.
We wish all the peace to her soul.
Puneet & Sangita
Uncle and aunty , I absolutely remember those times. Thank you for stopping by and commenting and wishing on this .
It’s a loss I can probably never get over but blessings from you all goes a long way .
Pranam
Rahul
Dear Rahul,
You are not alone. We are there to share your grief but all said and done Ma ‘s loss is shattering and it will take a long time to come to terms. I know exactly how it feels as I have lost my parents in a gap of 2 yrs. Kakima was a great soul no doubt and I am fortunate to have known her for all these years.
Bhalo thakish. Time is the best healer. Connect to me once you can.
Tunkudada
Thank you Tunku dada . It is a big loss and I am trying to come to terms . Will connect
A week before aunty was hospitalized I met her. She was completely fine. Never thought that this pandemic will take take her away from us! She used to say “God should keep me fine till the pandemic ends, so that everyone can come and give me the last farewell when I leave this world”. Unfortunately God didn’t listen to her and took her away from us. This thought bring tears to my eyes. Am sorry Rahul dada!!
It really is a bitter pill to swallow . I am still not come to terms and don’t think ever will be . Thank you for the kind words
Beautifully penned Rahul. There is truly no substitute for Ma, even whe she’s not with you her influence, lessons and most importantly love will always be there for you. If you are the representation of how her life had been she has a lot to be proud of.
Thank you so much Rahul da.
It’s still very very hard to believe my beloved Aunty had left us all in pain. She was the person without whom I would not be the person I am today. My first teacher in life, my second mother and a lot more than that which can’t be described in words. My regret for not visiting her before she fell ill will pinch me always. I just wish her beautiful soul finds the place where only and only happiness and peace reside.
Love you Aunty.
Rajanna
Thank you and very beautiful words .